I promised it a long time ago (two weeks ago, I think… geez.) and here it is. The follow-up to the highly succesful article “Top 5 Break-up Cures”. For those who didn’t quite understand the title… this is a list of No-No Here’s the list:

Top 5 Stupid Break-Up Cures:

5- Get Drunk.

Wow, that would be stupid. I’m sure you can guess the typical scene; the drunk guy/girl sobbing in the corner of a dark bar… and finds a loving ear and a dry shoulder to help…

Reality: A girl/guy screaming and spewing snot all over the bar… trying to get attention and love from anything around. You can add any of those to the end (you can even mix!):
A) Police
B) Good Beat-down from local bar-goer
C) One hell of a shitty night/ Puke/ Hang Over.

In any cases, do you REALLY think drinking will help your problem? No. It’ll only make things shittier.

4- Get High.

WOW, now you’re just trying to hurt yourself aren’t you? Yeah, drugs are good for numbing… and also distorting reality. Of course, you’ll just daze away the pain…

Reality: OR You’ll bad-trip like you never did. No matter the drug… you’ll feel those darn side-effects. Just try to imagine… someone badtripping and having hallucination… WHILE being depressed. Sounds fun, no?

3- Sleep with a rebound.

Ha! that’ll show him/her, right!? … Nope! It’ll only make you feel like horrible sh… Fulfilling the emptyness, by going completely irrationnal and articial will only make matters worse. Though the effect might not be as evident as the alcohol and drugs… they’ll follow you around for a good while (especially if you didn’t wear that little rubber friend of yours…).

Beside… I think her sister/brother is out of bound for at least a month. Awh fine! Two weeks.

2- Listen to an Emo band, or much worse, START an emo/soft rock or any sort of whinny crappy music

I think the name says it all. Starting a band named something like “My bleeding heart is the love for the fashion dead birds from tears” (MBHISTLFTFDBFT … for the cool kids…) will most likely get more hatemail then fanmail. And for the love god… go drink instead.

1 - Call your ex/ See her/him again.

We all did it. If you haven’t done it … you probably will. BUT DON’T. It is the most stupid idea you can do. It’s like mixing a drink with drugs while having sex with your emo band mate. It will probably happen if you do 5, 3 and 2. Just so you know.

Well that’s it for this “quick” article (still took me an hour to write…)